Tales of A Lost Soul

~Arrogance...Verse Ichi~

Heh, those commoners
What do they know?
What do they have?
They are all asleep
They'll wake up when its too late...
When their souls are taken away from their hosts
All they do is chase the limitedly finite.

Heh...what am I doing?
Getting so full of myself
Orokana, so idiotic of me.
In an instant I can be like them, even worse!
And here I am being arrogant of what I have, of what I am!
Hahahaha....I know so little, maybe nothing!
A mere speck of knowledge from the infinite universe of where it came from!

Yet here I am, being prideful of what I have
How pitiful...
So~ truely pitiful...
I can be made strayed from the group in an instant!
That is not impossible,
Nothing is impossible!
Anything could happen!

This small speck of wisdom I have
That nears zero...
Can instantly vanish without reason, without a trace!
And here I am, bragging with what I have that is so small and insignificant...
Insignificant....totally insignificant...
What is there to be so prideful about?
One shadow strike and I'm down!
A single blow is all that is needed
And I am no longer human!
Heck, no blows are needed...
Just a small soft nudge and out I go howling madly.
So madly that it shames me to face the light again
Yet here I am, still in the light...I hope.....

I am still here...
I the garden, or so I really, strongly, hope so.
I wish and hope.......to stay here, in this group
On this road
In this heavenly garden.

I fear,
To stray away from this road
To be out casted from the garden...
To be exiled from the group.
I so really fear, hoping to tremble and shiver at the thought.....

For now...one battle stays clear in my vision.
The war continues.
Until we have crossed that bridge...
I hope we will cross the bridge together...
All of us...the guardians, the guides, you blossoms and the group.
Let us stay together...
And walk to wards that holy light, and the infinitely eternal utsukushii hikari beyond it...

~The End of Kage...~

This will be the final entry for this song...
For I have learned
That what happened in the shadow...
Let it stay in the veil of darkness
It is for what it is meant to be

And what happened in light...let it stay there
Bathed in the glorious holy light
Saa...my life goes on...as it is written above...

~Kage...Verse Nijyuuichi...~

Here I am
Still unpurified after what I committed
All alone...it striked when I was weak.
I was able to fight it off once before it happened,
But it kept on trying

And I gave in...
Now I sit wrecked with guilt
My heart cries tears of bloody regret
Can this sinner tread that bridge safely?
With all the weight on his left wing
Countless times much heavier
Than the right wing

How can I fly to my master with this weight?
Ah...what else I can do
But to atone and pray

How many times has it been?
How many years?
Since... seven years ago?
Heck the stacked up debts I must payback
I know not when they disappear
So I'll just think...
That they're still there...

Haunting me
Till they are lifted
Sadly I cannot see them
But I can feel them
Though sometimes my feelings betray me...

There is nothing else this idiotic slave can do
To remain loyal till its body rots
And await the painful death ahead...

Please master...can I be forgiven again?
I am ashamed of myself
My weakness
Whatever shall I do?
Please...guide me...

I am...nothing...without you...

~Kage...Verse Nijyuu~

So...again...and again...and again...
How could I gave in?
I cry in this regret

How much longer will this continue...
Can I not change this routine?
This hands...are cursed
By me
And myself within

~Kage...Verse Jyuukyuu~

So...it came...
Even in the embrace of my two maidens
Still it came
I...lost?
Its been a while...

I just need to keep fighting
And improve myself
I had been fighting quite a bit...

Now back to square one...
How many cycles left I wonder...
Saane...

~Light and Darkness...Verse 1~

Such a fast transition
How fast do humans change?
I do not know...nor do I care

Light...I was showered by it
It was peaceful
Much I learned
Whether I understood or not
That is a different story

For I am a mere baby
At least that is what I think of myself
I am at the mere first step of this journey

The first phase
I think I am just starting it
No...perhaps it is set so I am there
Struggling
Struggling for resistence, strenght...forgiveness

Perhaps here is not the place
To say what I've learned
Mere fools cannot comprehend
The mind is useles in this arena
"Bring fourth your foolishness..and you will understand"

Those lazy humans
They make our lives harder than it already is
If you don't want to do it...don't make it taboo!
The imbeciles
Heck...some don't even understand a letter of this arena

Those kalam
Cannot be read single-handedly
You think you're smart enough?
The mind is not the learner here...you'll go crazy!
They are written to be explained...bit by bit...
Word by word...letter by letter...
Going solo won't help! Fools!!!

Nga...
Even after all that...I...
Succummed back into darkness...

Guess...I should push my fighting further...
Untill I collapse...
Well...the war continues...

Until next time...perhaps if its destined so...

~Kage...Verse Jyuuhachi~

Mata...maketa
Tatakau...kougeki...shinakatta
I gave up before I fought

Where is my battle spirit?

Maybe I'm just not summoning it...
How much longer must this continue...
I must...stand up.Tate!

~Kage...Verse Jyuunana~

Mata...ka...
Ore...yowai na...
Daga...sensou ga mada owattenai.

Dakara...tatakau...tsuzuku...

Warui yatsu...utsu...
Kanojyou...matteiru...
Konna sekai touka...asoko touka...wakaranai...

~Kage..Verse Jyuuroku~

Mata...ka...
Ore...madamadadana
Kutsou!

Iiikageni!

Omae no hontou no chikara wa misete morau!
Omae no tatakau iu wa doko ni aru?
Saa, tate!

~Kage...Verse Jyuugo...~

Mata...ka...
Guilt...
Zetsubou...
Ore...wakaranai...naze?
Kotae wa ore no naka ni irunoka?
Chikushou!
Konomamajya...mazuizou!

Ore...nani wo yatteiru?
Saane...
Mayoi...mayoinagara...

Ugh...I must really endure...
Mou...Enough of this...
I'm sick of it!
Its time for me to fight this through...
Ore...mou...makenei!

Watashini chikara wo!

~Kage...Verse Jyuuyon~

Mata...ka
Kanashimi wo oshiete...
How many times have it been?
Why has my hunger not subsided?
The anguish...guilt...sorrow...

To do these things...
To betray my pledge of loyalty...
Ittai nanno SLAVE ore wa? I kept repeating... asthough...
It is my routine...
Perhaps...maybe...tabun...

This hunger...was not yet satisfied from the very beginning...
Yet my actions invoked it...
Making it barely controllable...

Saa...
What can actually satisfy this thirst?
This...madness?

Perhaps...I already knew the answer from the very beginning...
I am a coward...perhaps...if the answer to this ...this war...is "that"
But...what candidate can actually take upon such a task?
One I can trust my life upon?
Who would symphatise with this...this soul that has nothing???
Despair I am...
Must I search myself?

If the answer to this puzzle is...."that"...
How must I grasp the answer? The correct answer?
Trial and error...yes we humans are acuztomed to that...
Though it wastes much time...shigataganei...
The true method... I know not how...

The true method....or the common method?
Mwahahahahahhahaaha!
I am talking as if the answer to all of this bickering IS "that"
Though I am actually unsure...if "that" is the answer...
What is "that" you ask? Heh...my "garden"...get it?

Ah...the answer might have already been given to me from the very beginning....
Its just that....I am blind...
My eyes...they cannot see....
My heart...darkness succumbs it...
How....how can I survive this journey?

Must I move now?
And if I do...is it the correct choice???
Arggggggh! I know nothing!

In my sinned state now...filled with guilt...
How can I differenciate what is right or wrong with my heart???
And it rises yet again? My shadow...

Ah...such a weak soul I am when I am alone...
Alone...in this journey...for not many knows...
Not many knows...what despair I am facing...

Arrrrggggghhhhhhhhh! In this current state....
I am sane no more....
I am rampaging more and more by the second...

Perhaps....I should wait...untill it ceases...
And then do what I must...
Ugh...can I endure?

Saa ne...

~Kage...Verse Jyuusan~

Just the early of today...ka
I'm feeling the results of my foolishness
Guess I'll just accept it with a smile

To atone and repent...

Good things? Tonnes.
I just wish for forgiveness
I will do my part...and fight my shadow within...

~Kage...Verse Jyuuni...ka...~

Passed the 4 day trial...I did...
Yet another obstacle came one after another...
I was off guard...2 days and bye2
Once released it is hard to seal...
Ugh...how painful it was

Saa...now is...jyuukunichi...
Shall I go for 5 days?
Well...its going to be tough
Nijyuushinichi...
I must atleast hold on untill then...argh!

My heart already...felt the burden...
Alas put aside all this worldly burden for a moment
What have I done?
Sad...so sad...
I am not upholding what I should...
Tis a shame...
What should I do now?

Staying sane and under control is a hard task...
Especially for one such as I
I could go rampant everyday...

All I can do is pray for strenght...
Just give it my all...
Untill I have crossed that bridge...safely

My soul feels hallow...
With this song of sadness and the emotion of losing your soul...
Ah...how weak I am...
Alone...
How much more can I take?
Please...give me strenght...
For I have nothing...nothing at all...

~Kage...Verse Jyuuichi~

Argh!
3days...and Ive lost!
Naraba...
4 days...
I shall go slow and steady...
As it wins the race...
On the jyuurokunichi of this month...I shall...go wild

Until that time comes...
I must...endure...
Master, please give me strenght...

~Kage...Verse Jyuu~

Ah...it has not yet been 6 days...
Yet I already succummed...
Ugh...ore wa...yowaina...
It has only been 2 days...no?
I could not remember...
The entry I thought to exist...did not existed?

Saa...today...jyuugatsu touka...
I will endure...until jyuugatsu jyurokunichi...
I must...endure...

~Kage...Verse Kyuu~

The odour that should be sacred is foul now...
I washed my hands...barely
The stench is still there
The lost soul has lost a battle
Though I was recsued...but only for a moment...
I can go on and keep succumming to the Kage...
Ugh...how weak am i...

~Kage...Verse Hachi~

It is a sad thing...
How weak we humans are
How we cannot fight even ourselves
Heck tis the toughest opponent in the world!
We are...powerless...

How...heh...how many times has it been since...6 years ago?
The first year was still allright...
My knowledge pursuement was still sharp and good...
Alas...the second year...showed signs of remorse
It was the beginning of a disaster...

Third year...
Hmph...the dragon slept and withered...
The fourth year...it withered evenmore...
Blades and swords rusted with sins and shadows...
I was heading towards my own destruction...

The end of the fourth year...
A small light shone...
Which was the beginning of a resurruction
Still, wounds do not easily heal...
Broken arms are not easily reforged...

Slowly...the resurrection began...
With the aid of the divine Bidadari...
Yes, I soon awokend...a bit...
Then, true light came...though just a bit...
It was beginning...

The fifth year...
The resurrection was slow and unstable, unsteady...
In the middle of the year...
The truest shine and light came and shone...
My eyes were totaly wide...
I drew breath...barely....
Then my body started to regain strenght...bit by bit...

In the near end of the year...
The first obstacle, battle for the slightly resurrected came...
I barely passed...
Thank you
Thankyou
Thankyou
For the Barakah and blessings you bestowed upon me...

The sixthe year...
Nothing much...
Resurrection was slow...
The I merged into a nether realm...
That spun my head...my emotions and heart...
The injured shadow...kage gained support
Tis the beginning of a greater battle...

Harem...
The theme of this new battle...
How the weak dragon fought the strenghten kage...
Even with reinforcements of enormous light...
The dragon was still in the midst of confusion
To his new surroundings...
And to himself...

Now...right now...when I am writing this...monogatari...
Tis the final bits of the sixth year...
Countless battles have I lost...
The dragon, wounded...
I am truely weak...
Oh..My Lord...how shall I go through this battle and the battles ahead?
Please, I beg of you...only you and your beloved knows what lies in my heart...
Kanaetekudasai...
Please make them come true...
Realize my wishes...
Negai...for wisdom, strenght, love, faith, and perseverence...

Now...I am weak...
And the kage can strike at any moment from the shadows...
What am I to o?
Saa...wakaranai...
I can only pray...Inorimashou...and berselawat...

~Shadow...Verse Nana~

Resentment
Pitiful
Disgrace

Will these tainted hands
Be cleaned
Though colourless
Its foul odour still haunts
Seven strikes

A foolish slave
Ungrateful
Weak
Forgetful of his purpose
"Will I...be forgiven?"

I should never had started it
It drove slowly in
The first day was safe
But the next
I perished
The first blast initialized
The next six

How many times has it been?
For how many years?
This...is the 6th year
One who repeats his mistakes is a fool
That is I...a fool.

~Shadow...Verse Roku~

I am a fool...
It was unnecessary
But I went on

Three strikes...
Now drained
My heart cries

A foolish slave I am
Now clueless
I do not know what to do...

~Shadow...Verse Go~

Three blows
Im so weak...
Even with the pure lunar shine
I....lost
I was fooling around

Frustrated
Sad
Guilt
Hatred
Agony

What should I do now?
Train?
Pray?
Doubt myself?
Dousurebaiindarou?

Wakaranai...
I'll just sink...
Into the abyss...

For within the abyss maybe
The answer lies there
Now the shadow
Has been freed once again
It will be difficult
To seal it again
But that I must do

Alone, or not...
I must seal it,
Or atleast control it

But
Am I strong enough?
I.....am a mere human

I can only seek help
I know where to go
But to go there
Tis the price to pay
A very heavy price...

~Shadow...Verse Shi~

Its been a week is it now?
Double strike...
My, how weak am i?
Well,
The cycle continues then...
For where will I go?
Will I be salvaged?
Only one knows...
I only sink in the greatness
Of the one that controls...
Everything.

~Shadow...Verse San~

Again...
Once in the dark
Trice in daylight
But somewhat isolated...

It was my fault...
I did what I knew I must not
And it led me there

There,
Due to boredome
I was slowly succumed
By my own darkness

Then,
I could not control myself
It was over

But...
A small glimmer appeared
My tears...are they not there?
To be shed by this soul?
For what this soul has done?

Why will it not fall?
I do not know,
For the answer lies within
Something even I cannot reach...

Though those doors are always open,
And physically
I tried to do what I must
But
I know that my heart
Was not doing
What it was and is supposed to do

The holy lunar nears...
Will I...be saved?

~Shadow...Verse Ni~

Mata...ka?
This time it was 3.
I was not wise enough
The sheild backfired

I thought it could aid me
On my quest for focus
It did....but

I had to compensate
The sheild triggered my shadow
I was about to lose to it...

Then I turned around and looked...
Towards my grace
Still I looked at her with my shadow's eyes

And there....
Three strikes of lost and sorrow
I had lost again...

What kind of servant am I to defy my Lord?
I kept repeating it...
I need help...to strenghten my heart...
It comes yet again...

Im losing my sanity
Though I know I must not
I...will...try....my...best...

Tis a sad thing
My Lord...please help me...
You are my only hope...
In anyway you can, please....
Forgive me....
And show me where to go...

Must I result in blood-lust?
Must I use force?
Must I kill?

Or...

Should I be like the leaves, the wind, the streams...
Following the flow,
Adjusting with its surroundings?

I need guidance...please...
Show me the way...

~Shadow...Verse Ichi~

And so...I lost
Two strikes...
Well its been awhile since I lost
Since that injury
I was forced to refrain
Even my shadow did

But today
Somehow...
The one that was always white
Turned black

A sign to me again?
Saa...ore wa nani mo wakattenaishi...
But somehow
I saw what i should not
I was curious
This soul was somehow
Persuaded by its own shadow
Indirectly

Those direct attacks were merely...
A divergence.
And I fell into the amai wana
Yes,
I prepared it for those occasions

When I need to forget...

But it arised to me....
Why do I need to forget?
Yappari...ore mo ningen na....
Ore mo....ano kimochi ga aru...
Atarimaeda...

It hurts...
But the weight was no more...
Yet another weight came...

I should have not picked the seed in the first place
Look at this mess...
My hands....tainted
Twice tonight

This soul....how many more must I commit?
These omoi...another weight came...
Orewa....yurusaretainda...
The sinner wishes to be forgiven...

Ore wa....mata...ka?
(Daijyoubudesu)
Sou?
(Mada...Kibou ga aru)
Hontouka!?
(Soudesuyo, dakara...tachinasai)
Hai.
(Tatakaenasai, watashi wa....matteimasu....)
Aa...ore wa, zettei makeneida!
(Soudesu. Anatawa, watashi no naito dakara)
Aa....I must not perish here
His holy blood runs within my weak body....
His light glimmers in my wavering soul....
At least,
I must not fail him....

I will keep on fighting....

And for what that has been done cannot be undone
I will have to suffer through the underworld
There...my atonement awaits...
I must repent and atone...
That is the only way for my journey...
Matteruze....ore wa...ikuyo.

I will not make you wait longer than you have to.